In the end, there were many ways in which the private room helped.

First, the matter of bowel movements.

“Have you had a bowel movement?”

Each time a nurse asked, a question arose in my mind.

With a tube in place, is it even possible?

Perhaps it was also because my colon had been physically shortened.

For a while, I could not sense it.

I was wearing a disposable diaper, so there was no disaster.

Even so, each time I went to the toilet, I couldn’t tell

whether I needed to go, or not, whether something would come, or not.

The feeling would not settle into anything I could grasp.

Having a toilet in the room made a difference.

——

The afternoon of the second day after surgery.

A bandmate from my teenage years came to visit.

It had been more than ten years.

Even in a state where I could barely move, we were able to talk without hesitation.

That too, was because of the private room.

“——I want to play in a band again.”

Without thinking about reality.

The thought simply came to me.