Some time ago, while working with someone in the medical field, I learned that it is called “cancer.” I remember casually thinking how different the impression of that word felt compared to the Japanese term.

Recently, the results of a medical examination came back. It was stage 3 colorectal cancer, with lymph node metastasis.

Fortunately, there was no spread to the liver or lungs. Still, the situation was very close to stage 4, and I was told that the exact condition of the lymph nodes would only become clear after surgery.

Hmm. Rather tough.

I have heard that cancer can take five to ten years to develop. Looking back, I wondered if there might have been some moment when I could have noticed it earlier, or perhaps caught it through a routine screening. But considering my lifestyle, that would have required quite a series of unlikely “what ifs,” so the thought quickly lost its meaning.

At the moment, I am very grateful for the various forms of support I have received from the people around me. In a strange way, it even makes me feel as though the path I have walked so far has been quietly affirmed.

I do not believe that a serious illness was something I needed in life. Not at all. Still, it has given me an opportunity to pause and look at things again.

For now, I am not yet sure what should be written about it. But at least, I am fortunate that I am not feeling pessimistic.