Fever
From the very first day of my hospitalization, my body felt unwell and I developed a fever.Each time they took my temperature, it climbed higher — 37°C, then 38°C. I was told, “If this continues, the surgery may have to be postponed.” In preparation for the surgery scheduled two days later, I had already started […]
Hospitalization
Tomorrow, I will be admitted to the hospital. It will be my first time staying in a hospital for more than two days, so I find myself a little tense about the experience itself. But there is no point in thinking too much about it. I will simply follow the instructions and move through it […]
Informed Consent
Doctors are required to explain the risks in advance and obtain consent before proceeding with treatment. Of course, I fully understand that this is necessary. If someone later says, “No one told me about that,” it would only create trouble for everyone involved. In reality, however, it seems that even very minor risks must be […]
Cancer
Some time ago, while working with someone in the medical field, I learned that it is called “cancer.” I remember casually thinking how different the impression of that word felt compared to the Japanese term. Recently, the results of a medical examination came back. It was stage 3 colorectal cancer, with lymph node metastasis. Fortunately, […]
Disinfectant
I slipped down a flight of stairs.It was only about five steps. Perhaps the wet soles of my shoes and the material of the stairs were a bad combination. I ended up with a fairly impressive scrape on my leg, but my honest reaction was relief — “I’m glad it was only this much.”Adding an […]
A Lighter Breath
Days of medical examinations continue. Perhaps it is the tension of so many unfamiliar things.After returning home, I am suddenly overcome by an unbearable drowsiness. I find myself reflecting once again on the preciousness of health. Ever since the recent endoscopy, even something as simple as being able to breathe normally feels profoundly grateful. It […]
The Beginning of the Story
About ten years ago,there was a period when I wrote twelve or thirteen songs in one stretch. I found myself inserting odd time signatures in the middle of songs, and obsessing over how to place a catchy melody over them—how to make the listener not even notice the shift. My focus at that time was […]
I Thought I Was Going to Die
There was almost no real danger. I understood that, intellectually.And yet my body decided, “This is not good.” It was about a gastroscopy. It was my first time. The doctor had said, “We’d like to proceed with the examination as soon as possible and move directly toward surgery,” and it had been scheduled without sedation. […]
The Ground Beneath the Story
I learn that I have a serious illness. There had been clear signs about six months ago. At that time, someone advised me that I should go to the hospital, but after improving my lifestyle and seeing some changes, I decided that I was probably fine. Recently, I could no longer ignore those signs and […]
With What Is Here
There was a time when I thought it might be better to first get a guitar, try singing with it for a while, and only then give things a form—believing that doing so would preserve my feelings more faithfully. Putting things off until “after I get this” is always a trap of the mind. Even […]